Everyone knows what libido is, but not everyone understands what affects libido and how to increase it. One of the most essential concepts to accept and understand about libido is that there is a great deal of variability among people regarding sexual desire and drive. It can be helpful to put your libido in the context of your overall historical sexual drive. Were you hot for sex in your 20’s and 30’s and then your sex drive died? Or have you always been a “slow simmer” kind of person? Let’s take a look at some of the complexities of libido and what you can do to increase it.
Why Does Libido Matter?
If you are in a relationship, sex is critical not only for connection but also for other reasons. If you are single and without a sexual partner, being in touch with your sexual drive is important as well. Masturbation and fantasy are an excellent way to stay connected to your sexual desire. Women, in particular, are conditioned to think of sex drive in connection with another person. Men got over that long ago! Besides, you never know when you might need your sex drive. Here are some of the benefits of sex:
Lower blood pressure
Improved immune system
Better heart health, possibly including lower risk for heart disease
Improved self-esteem
Decreased depression and anxiety
Natural pain relief
Better sleep
Increased intimacy and closeness to a sexual partner
Overall stress reduction, both physiologically and emotional
What Affects Libido?
Libido is a sensitive and complex response to all kinds of internal and external factors. Many of these are within our control and have benefits beyond an increase in libido. If you feel that you have always been in the “low libido” category, you can still increase your libido by following these tips. But, if you are in a relationship where there is a significant difference in libido between the two of you, this is something to accept and work on.
Hormonal Fluctuations
Hormonal fluctuations affect men and women, but women, in particular, are impacted after menopause. Significant decreases in estrogen and testosterone can kill libido, and there is no reason to accept this. The solution? Hormone replacement therapy. Restoring hormones to their desired levels can have a significant impact on libido. Another uncomfortable consequence of menopause is vaginal dryness which can make penetration painful. Talk with us about how to deal with vaginal dryness. Hormones will help that too!
Stress
Stress seems to be a part of life these days, and it can be a challenge to manage. Putting stress-relieving practices into place will help you cope with stress and improve your mental and physical health. Stress has a very negative impact on libido, so even a moderate reduction can have a positive effect. Managing your time, exercising, yoga, and mindfulness are all helpful. Sometimes making time for yourself might seem indulgent. It isn’t. Taking time for yourself is healthy.
Sleep
Getting adequate sleep can improve a person’s overall mood and energy levels, and some research also links sleep quality to libido. When the body becomes stressed due to sleep difficulties, the brain suppresses the production of hormones like estrogen and testosterone. The body releases stress hormones like cortisol instead. This shift in hormone levels can lead to decreased sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and infertility. Lack of sleep can also contribute to depression and anxiety. How much sleep do you need? Between 7-9 hours a night. Practice good sleep hygiene.
Diet
If you have medical problems like high blood pressure, diabetes, heart issues, or obesity, your libido is adversely affected. One of the best ways to get control of your physical health (along with exercise) is by changing your diet. Start to gravitate away from red meat and towards a more plant-based diet that avoids white breads and pastas and favors whole grains. Honestly, if you feel crappy, your libido will suffer. Start to change your diet and notice your energy and focus improve.
Exercise
Regular exercise improves mood, cognition, and energy. Exercise also helps with weight gain, which can affect self-esteem along with improvement in heart health, diabetes, and high blood pressure. When you feel vitalized and energized, your libido improves. Also, exercise is an effective way to manage stress and anxiety, both of which are libido killers.
Masturbation
Masturbation is a good way for you to get in touch with yourself, so to speak. Whether you are in a relationship or not, masturbation is an excellent way to learn what you like in a stress-free environment. There is no pressure to perform or have an orgasm, so you can experiment. If you are having sexual problems with your partner, masturbation can be a way to let your partner know what you like. Don’t be afraid to try erotica to get the juices flowing.
Communication
Low libido can be the result of expectations and pressure. It is vital to communicate with your partner about what you like and need. Some people need more foreplay or just the right environment with the time and space to become aroused. Trying different sexual approaches can help as well. Experimenting and changing your sexual preferences can kick start the libido. If you are having more serious relationship problems, seek help from a couple’s therapist.
Change Your Lifestyle and Increase Your Libido
Given that libido is complex and very individual, there is no downside to making the improvements we suggest. The healthier and more rested you are, the happier you will be. And your libido might change for the better in the process.