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  • Writer's pictureMonica Bell

Top Ten Tips for Reclaiming Your Sexuality and Finding Intimacy(Part 2)

Our Top Ten List for Reclaiming Your Sexuality and Intimacy

You may have never considered yourself a very sexual person, or perhaps intimacy is a challenge related to past trauma or relationship problems. Seeking the help of a psychotherapist in these situations can be enormously helpful. Beyond that, you may be a person for whom sexuality and intimacy were always valuable, but life got in the way, and you lost your way. Whether you are partnered or single, our tips will help you reclaim your sexuality and intimacy.

1. Find Adventure

Remember adventure way back when? It might be time to wake up and pursue your passions again. Whether it is a creative pursuit or a sexual adventure, don’t hold back. Trying new activities or rekindling old ones can give you a spark and rekindle desire.

2. Nurture Relationships

And we mean ALL relationships-your, partners, friends, and family. Nurturing means tending to and developing empathy- it also entails opening yourself up to some risk by exposing parts of yourself that might be uncomfortable at first. Becoming more open may mean being more vulnerable, which can take some getting used to.

3. Become a Better Communicator

Working on your communication skills with your partner or friends and family will bring you closer. The first lesson in communication is to listen- a lot. By actively listening, you make the other person feel loved and cared for and that you are interested in them. Be curious about other people to improve your chances of connecting on a deeper level.

4. Look for Role Models

Your role models might be very different from someone else’s. One person may love the blatant sexuality of Nicki Minaj, while another person looks to a valued friend. What are the qualities of sexuality and intimacy that resonate with you? Find those in other people and learn from them.

5. Show Gratitude

News flash! None of us gets everything we want and need. It can be a delicate balancing act to go for what you want but have gratitude and acceptance for what you do have. Some people like to have a journal to jot down their daily thoughts on what they are grateful for.


Masturbation is not just for single women, and masturbation is healthy whether you have a partner or not. How often women masturbate is open to debate, but surveys generally show that women masturbate on average about eight times a month. Some use sex toys, and others don’t. In one survey, about 50% of women own a sex toy. Regardless of frequency or preference, masturbation has most of the health benefits of sex with another person.

7.Consider Therapy

We are well beyond the stigma of therapy since everyone is in therapy! Well, not everyone but probably most people you know. Therapy can help with self-esteem, communication, and social and sexual anxiety. Teletherapy is the norm now, so you don’t even have to leave the house.

8. Set Aside Quality Time

Quality time matters whether you are in a relationship or not. Feeding yourself and your relationships takes setting aside time for pleasurable and stimulating activities and starting new ones too! Consider scheduling quality time which will improve your chances of following through.

9. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the ability to be fully present. And that can be a big challenge in today’s busy world. Mindfulness takes practice, but once you improve, you can bring the quality of mindfulness to everyone and everything you do. You may decide to meditate as a way to improve your mindfulness. Guidance on meditation is available with free apps and online instruction.

10. Value and Accept Yourself

Self-acceptance is a journey. There are good days and not-so-good days. Breaking the chains of expectations is hard but worth it. By valuing and accepting yourself, you become better and more confident at exploring intimacy and sexuality. Taking steps towards healthier habits is an excellent way to feel better about yourself.


" My sex drive was complicated. I had no problem like many youngsters reaching sexual climax doing just about anything. Like a boiling frog my desire never left but my body was way behind what my mind wanted. I had literally no idea that hormones could be the cause. Not only did Monica get my levels in check but was in the midst of me formalizing a same sex relationship that would be something new for both of us. We have not only had an off the charts sex life but 6 weeks ago we go married (which even changed our sex life more) as it feels different now. Having only had sexual relationships with men in the past I felt a bit like I was never measuring up to the pace I was raised in an environment where we did not talk about pleasure or sex. These were things to not enjoy they were a fact of life you needed to have sex to have a baby or to keep your “man” happy. Because of that twisted mindset I felt in my younger years that I owed them something that they needed more than me. With some maturity now 50 years old and open communication and of course hormones my wife and I are very sexually active. We have a fine balance between regular life and our time together. We have found day on the weekends and morning sex to be the best. Our relationship is better, stronger, and more connected with intimacy. I still think it is a miracle that we both can feel this good.- Laurel"


Reclaiming Sexuality and Intimacy

At Optimal Hormone Health, our goal is to empower you to be as proactive as possible in your pursuit of improved health and sexuality. There are few things achieved in life without a commitment to what you want and deserve. We are here to help you on that journey with hormone replacement, nutritional guidance, and open discussions about sexuality. You are never too old, and it is never too late to reclaim your sexuality.

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